1.16.2016
frozen waterfall
mouth
grins out at
us
what are you
doing
so wrapped
up
come play with
me
if you
can.
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Meta
PoemsPerDay 
Forgive me if I come off a bit harsh but first of all I will sincerely praise this. Your work is astonishingly beautiful and the imagery is quite wonderful. The first stanza seriously invoked in me a deep feeling.
Your point of writing poetry is, i think, to express yourself fully but this goes no where near poetry, even if you call it free verse, this won’t come near it. It is a wonderful writing, I must say, quite exquisite and unique but don’t try to turn a prose into a poem. You can express yourself as thoroughly with prose as with poetry.
This is just my point of view, ignore it if you must but don’t take offence 🙂 Finally, keep writing and writing and writing….good luck! 🙂 🙂 ❤
Thanks for the comments. A subtle line there. Interested to hear how you might have changed it so as to be poetry in your sense.
Most welcomed! 🙂 Glad that you have considered my suggestions 🙂 Thank you 🙂